The Stages of Online Dating

So, we’re all out here in these streets dating or we’ve all been out here.  We are out here feeling ourselves.  We know who we are, what we want, that we fine as hell, we are smart as hell, and all around EVERYTHING!  giphy (1)

SO…you may start to wonder, where is BAE!  I’m all of Everything…except…giphy

Stage 1: So you decide to venture into the dating scene but you may be like you know what…I don’t do clubs…I don’t do bars…and I’m really really really ridiculously adulting.  So pretty much, I just go to work, home, the grocery store, and the dollar store. LOL (Don’t judge me).  So you say.  HEY…i’m going to start online dating.

Stage 2: You’re all optimistic.  You’re thinking about all the men or women you’ll meet (or both…do you boo).  You’re thinking you’ll have a bevy of folks to choose from right.  Bae is a click away.  giphy (2)

Stage 3: You make your bomb profile.  *Insert whitty answers* *insert your best pics* *insert effort and energy*

Then you start to get replies.  YES.  You open the replies and…


Stage 4: WHO ARE THESE GUYS?  Is this what I’m attracting? ARE GUYS THIS AUDACIOUS?  Am I blocking my blessing? DID HE JUST…GRAMMAR IS IMPORTANT.


Stage 5:  There has to be some miracle in this.  Were all the eharmony commercials lies?  My homegirl just met a great guy.  Ok…maybe I should stick it out.  Let me pray!!

giphy (3)


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  1. Reply

    Haha the first gif made me laugh

  2. Reply

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