Social Experiments by Mr Jesus

So there are these things that are the most amazing things on earth but you can easily be sucked in and your spirit becomes over taken and before you know it, you’ve ruined your life.  OK OK…maybe it’s not that dramatic but still.  There’s a fine line and either you know where to tip toe or you just swan dive across that joint often.  These things I like to refer to as Social Experiments by Jesus…or the devil…it depends on how you look at it.

So are you able to handle these rationally or do you fall into the depths and get sucked into the dark side?  I’m ever praying for me.


Trader Joes 

Trader Joes is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord.

Melon rinds and bits of hotdogs
Cookie crumbs and rotten cotton candy
Melted ice cream, mustard dripplings
Moldy goodies everywhere!

Wait…i got pulled into the real song….hold please

“Melon juice and turkey hotdogs.  And Cookie butter everywhere.  Cheaper fresh meat, healthy snackings.  Amazing goodies everywhere.”

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Look…just go in with A PLAN!! Don’t look too hard or you’re gonna find something you want to try.  It’ll probably be $2.99 and you’ll be like “ONLY $3…BRUH”.  Then 50 three dollarses later…the devil won!!


Amazon

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LETTUCE PREY!! Father God, we come to you thanking you for giving us AMAZON.  You didn’t have to do it but you did.  You know you showed up and showed OUT when you allowed them to bless us with Amazon prime.  That stuff I didn’t need…I ordered it today and it beat ME home.  Lord I ask that you rebuke the spirit of “one-click” shopping though.  May my wishlists and “save for later” lists be on fleek but my cart and orders be rational and meek.  AMEN


Brunch w/ bottomless food and mimosas

This experiment was specially designed for people in DC and NYC and really bougie folks worldwide.  BRUNCH…once you get a good brunch in your system…it be CALLING YOU!!

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Waffles, chicken, omlettes, grits, bacon, bacon, bacon, pancakes, sammiches, soup, salad, french toast…ENDLESS MIMOSAS and the such.

EMAIL 12StepsToBrunchRecovery@whithappens6.com for Help…*insert gibberish and legal stuff about how this email doesn’t exist*


Youtube/Netflix

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Just one more click.  Ohhh just one more episode.  Let me watch THAT video!  I bet youtube has a tutorial.  OOOHHH THERE ARE 6 FULL SEASONS.

That “Are you still watching”…it’s the crossroads.  Is you gon’ go with Uncle Charles or nah?  Decide your fate…carefully.


Honorable Mention:

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Credit Cards

“Just like a breeze in the middle of a summer’s ever.  You come through and you comfort me”

THEN YOU GO BATSHIT CRAZY and let me swipe you all around the place.  STOP THAT…and companies…STOP RAISING MY LIMIT!! lol  I want my credit score to stay fleeky and increase in it’s fleekiness!

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