Real Housewives of Atlanta: S8 E5 “Where Is the Love Boat?”

So…let’s get ready to RUMBLE!!! 

We pick back up after the battle royale on water…

So Cynthia kicked her in her stomach and then wants to act like Porsha is crazy.  What really needs to be address is that they are all acting like something isn’t wrong with Cynthia.  Her behaviors have been waaayy past questionable lately.

So Cynthia is going downstairs with her friend who looks like she just found out someone died.  Legit, why does Tammy always look out of it.  She seems to be under the influence of…I just don’t know…

                                        Thanks Nino!

Thanks Nino!

So Porsha and Shamea get on the dingy and head ashore.  Honestly, if I were Kandi and Sheree I would have left too.  The levels of crazy just spilleth over.  Kim is in the corner rocking back back forth and forth and Sheree is trying to bring her back to life back to reality.  Tammy is popping up and calling on black Jesus (and this is not long after she said she was married to a man who is Nazi white).  Guh…this season!

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From there we go straight to Cynthia who calls Peter to come home from her sister wive’s house.  She was looking for a reason to get him to come home huh.  She ain’t slick…I see you Cynthia…I see you!

 


So now we mildly fast forward and we’re at Porsha’s.  She’s there with Shamea nursing her wounds.  Porsha’s mama shows up because she’s all bruised up.  I’m sure her mama was the one who took care of her when she had plastic surgery so mama knows what she needs.  Right …right…nah…that booty from cornbread?  Text me the receipts…

Anyway.  She does LEGIT have some bruising.  Like Cynthia went after Porsha like she was a hoe in the streets. WELL…with these kinds of friends you definitely don’t need enemies or at least don’t book any modeling jobs after hanging with that chick.


 

So Phaedra and Kim meet up again.  Phae makes a comment about her hair in the confessional.  LOL  I love her subtle shade.  Phaedra is that friend who gives you bomb advice and real talk but will also shade the hell out of you but to your face.  I think I know some folks like her!

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It seems like every little grouping his huddled at this time and they are all discussing the Smackdown on SaltWater.  So where are they getting this “WHATEVER, BITCH” from.  I heard Porsha say “Who, Bitch”.  All of them are mischaracterizing what was happening.  Porsha was 100% not turnt up.  Kandi says this is where the “discrepancy” went down…she meant “dispute”.  Jesus be a dictionary!!  #WontHeTeachIt

Jesus be a dictionary!! #WontHeTeachIt Click To Tweet

At Kenya’s discussion party, it’s sad to see that her aunt does not understand that her niece is one of the ones who is bat shit crazy.  You think she’s just blind to the obvious or she just don’t wanna shame her “family”.  You know how some black aunties are…


Back at the fugitive’s house…Peter arrives home. 

Cynthia seems to be going through some things.  Peter is telling her real true shit and she’s freaking out.  He (from the outside this ONE time) sees how things aren’t quite adding up and Cynthia likely overreacted.  She doesn’t want to hear it and she doesn’t want to hear that she possibly hurt Porsha.

hold on

Obviously if you kick someone hard you are likely going to hurt them.  Cynthia is just not in the right mental space.  She needs to get her ish together and she needs to make things right with Porsha.  Porsha aint even touch her. 

So basically Cynthia was acting out for attention…from the man she told shedidn’t love like a few days before.  MMMK!


So now on to something other than the fight…this Bedroom (make) Kandi…

The Tuckers arrive to their OB/GYN appointment.  Dr Jackie specializes in delivering the babies of all A- to C list celebrities in Atlanta.  I wonder if that’s on her website, business card, or something?

So they are talking about all the issues with Kandi’s pregnancy.  She really needs to take her doctor’s advice and chill out.  Dr. Jackie is having a hard time locating the heart beat.

Then hotline bling plays from Todd’s phone…

Todd takes the phone call during the ultrasound.  He really aint shit.  He wasn’t there when his fist child so you think he would want to this time since first time he actually knows he’s having a child.  

AND EVEN IF THAT WASN’T SO…they don’t know if the baby is ok or not…but that call though!

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I hate to say it but Mama Joyce may have been right.  But she unfortunately masked all of Todd’s shortcomings by being so crazy.  


We see a quickie of Phaedra playing with her kids.  Apparently the little one doesn’t even remember his daddy like that.  No worries Mr. President, neither do we…neither do we.


 

Kenya has now had time to polish up her scuffed messy boots and decides to call Cynthia to check on her. They are joking about what happened to make Cynthia feel better.  Such hypocrites.  She can comfort Cynthia but no one could comfort Porsha when she went for Kenya…

Kenya was SO offended when folks did that.

Why does Porsha always have to be the bad guy to them?  Was that part of her contract to reclaim her peach? 

Kenya notes that she has planned a big brunch for everyone.  She says she wants to meet with Porsha first though.  WHY…WHY FOR?   Kenya loves being in the middle of mess.  I swear before Mr. Jesus! 

Kenya loves being in the middle of mess. I swear before Mr. Jesus! Click To Tweet

 

They get to this before meeting and Porsha is attempting to explain what happened but Kenya Messy Moore is not here for it.  Just because Porsha drug you off the couch and onto the floor doesn’t mean she’s not able to be attacked herself.

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Sidebar…Kenya’s face is not one for HD…like her make up artist needs to come up with a new method to help her.  I feel like that could be so marketable.  Like who will be that MUA who gets major coin for developing this?

After the whole conversation, Porsha feels like she didn’t need to even meet with Kenya beforehand but she feel like she can try to speak with Cynthia because she understands her mindset.  She says because she went though a divorce she understands how your life can be all jacked up from all the changes and emotions.

 

 


They get to the brunch and you know…nothing is too interesting.  The thing I did notice was that Cynthia had on a shirt with her face on it.  VAIN MUCH?

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So everyone is at the table.  And Kenya steps up to her mic to begin to start the drama and air out everything in front of everyone.  Kim interjects in an adult fashion and asks if this is the first time Cynthia and Porsha are seeing each other.  Nice save.

The ladies then take this moment to step inside to speak alone.  They resolve their issue.

Outside at the big table, Kenya is still trying to stir the pot.  Kandi calls her out on it and she wants to be the victim again.  I just can NOT with Kenya. 

I’m glad that Cynthia and Porsha squashed it though.  What did you think of this episode?  What was your take on the Seaside Smackdown?