DMV Weather makes me Beyonce Crazy

If you live anywhere in the DC, Maryland or Virginia area lately, you’ve been assaulted perpetually with some trifling weather.  The DMV weather makes ABSOLUTELY no sense and we’ve put up with its shit long enough!!!  I even texted Jesus like “Big Homie…how’s the fam…I hope things are poppington up there…but what’s up with the weather in the DMV lately?  It’s been gloomy and rainy and I’m unable to locate my cans…what’s good?”

Jesus replied back like

jess new girl i dont know dmv weather

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So…not only did I know that I had been put BACK on the waitlist for Heaven (i had JUST gotten off) BUT I was going to have to deal with this on my own…WE were going to have to deal with this on OUR own because Jesus wasn’t replying.

 

At first, I was like I would just wait it out.  It definitely wouldn’t last long right.  I mean it’s the end of April and early May and that doesn’t equate gloom.  But I’m looking out my window looking for the sun and it’s been 7 WHOLE DAYS…AND NOT A WORD FROM YOU!

Then I got tired of the BS and started listening to Lemonade.  And I’m thinking about how these clouds are acting like Becky with the good hair.  They trying to get in the way of me and my bae, the sun!  I don’t know if the sun knows that I’m really crazy.  Like I’m sitting here upset, levitating, fasting, and swallowing swords attempting to get it to come on back out!

beyonce dmv weather lemonade bat

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Mr. SUN…I need you and all the warmth to return to the DMV promptly and remain here.  We aren’t here for sucky DMV weather on this here Spring of 2016.  I need you to continue to get some act right throughout the summer as well.

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.  YOU KNOW I GIVE YOU LIFE.  IF YOU TRY THIS SHIT AGAIN…YOU GON’ LOSE YOUR WIFE! – Beyonce …the lemonade giving bat swinging warrior princess and advocate for the swift dissolution of edges.

5 comments on “DMV Weather makes me Beyonce Crazy

  1. Yes you better tell the weather! It’s been gloomy here too and I miss the sun. It’s ruining my attire and my hair, but it’s making me productive. I’ve been getting things done around the house because I don’t want to go outside.

  2. I could see the smoke coming out of your ears. haha. Just know you are not the only one suffering lol. NY showed a little sun and then rain all week. wha? I’m ready for the flowers and sunshine too.

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