Adventures in Ridiculosity: #RHOA S8 E4 “Rocky Boat Horror Story”

So i’m just listening to the intro…Kandi said she is a hit maker and this year she will reveal the best one huh.  Someone clue me in…is she talking about her love on top because if so, just forget your other child right!

Anyway, on to the episode at hand… We open up with Kenya.  She’s walking down the street to Sheree’s house because she saw her car.  Kenya is actually unnecesarily messy.  It’s actually a little sickening now.  Sheree welcomes her with “open” arms though so hopefully they keep it classy. She doesn’t seem to be being too shady other than trying to bust up in there.  The House is HUGE!!! Sheree really went outside of herself to get this house that she can’t afford.  Matter of fact all her kids about to be grown. giphy2.gif Sheree is still slaying in confessional.  She makes me want a lil bob. So Sheree is claiming to be able to move in by Christmas.  Well tis the season….is she almost in  

  Porsha going to meet Phaedra and Phae is killing in her lil thot-fit!!  Porsha is going to shop for heaux clothes to wear for Duke on the facetime.  I’m wondering if she’s buying a strap on because…alright. I bet Duke’s boyfriend travels with him…meanwhile Porsha is just facetiming. Phaedra says “let’s not show your fish taco”.  But Phaedra being a good friend.  sometimes you can’t tell them..they have to see.  You can’t always tell your friend their relationship aint no good.

  Kandi calls Don Juan and he shades her thickness but she can gain a lil bc she pregnant. Cynthia shows up to Kandi’s solo since Peter gone to his girlfriend’s house.  They are discussing Kandi’s issues with her pregnancy.   She really does need to sit down.  You know good and well none of those events or businesses would be worth it if something happened to the baby. Cyn is trying to give advice about this restaurant deal.  Honestly…this doesnt seem like a great idea Kandi. tumblr_lpna1r5QCY1r1q3wuo1_500.jpg Cynthia says “i love peter” – you lying girl…you is.  She said his side of the bed is lonely and cold and unmade up.  

  Phaedra is home playing with the kids by the pool and Kim comes over for a nice little play date with her kids.   It’s good that they are connecting as they are the ones with kids around the same age. Dylan “Mr president” done really browned up. Phae had a lifeguard.  that’s all the good life.  So now they get to chatting…without worrying about their children and such. hakuna-matata-it-means-no-worries-for-the-rest-of-your-days_814.gif Phae asks if she has any friends and she says just her kids and husband.  She says she misses “classy women” because all these broads have all their goodies out.  Kim says as long as she doesn’t smell homeless then she’s good.  She really needs to break away and get a life of her own outside of her job and family.  WHO IS KIM FIELDS? She’s tearing up at the thought of her life.  I feel bad for her.

Kim says as long as she doesn't smell homeless then she's good. Click To Tweet

  Back to Porsha and she’s all set up to be nekkid with him on this facetime.  She gets all dolled up for him and THE WHOLE VIEWING AUDIENCE.  He’s MIA.  It’s probably because his bae is there with him.  Also…i’m sure he’s traumatized by that party. So she calls Phaedra to tell her that Duke ain’t even answering the facetime. tumblr_inline_n08so93AN61svk9zc.gif She needs to do like Elsa and let it go.  That’s how it always happen.  you gotta keep ish to yourself until you are true because as soon as you tell someone…it’s usually act crazy time for dudes.

  Kenya shows up at Cynthia’s house and Tammy is there.  Kenya is halfway acting funny about Cyn’s “stray” .  She tells Tammy that her feet are a mess.  Tammy is claiming she aint all the way into the lingo and the hot messness. Now we flash to Kandi and she is sleep on the lil bus.  LMAO.  Knocked out. They pick up Kim.  She tells Kandi that she admires her and they get to talking about business.  She is trying to get some sex advice from Kandi.  I like that she’s opening up and trying to get her life back girl. rihanna-gif.gif So back to Kenya and they end up discussing Sheree.  I’m over Kenya always having someone to pick on. Porsha and her friend are picked up with Kim and Kandi.  They start to talk about Cyn.  Kandi says Cyn was thinking about divorce.  They love spilling all the tea with no prompt. Cyn says “marriage is a choice not an accomplishment”.  What yall think about that concept? Porsha is saying how she and Cyn are close…we already know this ish aboutto pop off.   *CUE THE ORCHESTRA*

  They arrive to the boat. Kenya sees Shamea and goes into full shade queen mode.  I do agree that you aint supposed to just bring someone to an event but there is a better way to address it other than how Kenya addresses stuff. Kandi says she loves Shamea.  It seems like everyone likes Shamea. So it looks like the other uninvited guest is the one who is trifling. Ol girl that came with Cynthia said she met Kandi 2 decades ago.  Girl that aint worth mentioning. The ladies sit down for cocktails and pedicures.  Kenya tries to say that Kim is 50 and Kim knows how to come back and says that oh no girl I’m not 50 I’m only a few months older than you.

  Kenya makes an announcement about being Cyn’s bestie and this event being for her since her marriage ain’t shit.  Great speech bestie! LOL Sheree arrives and sees her ex’s bestie (the crazy lady with Cynthia).  This is why I know they got all the budget.  They hiring people to stir the pot. giphy.gif But crazy lady aint even on script.  She asks Kandi if she heard her sons’ song.  Bob is managing her son.  She sings some whack song that’s apparently her son’s.  She swears everyone has heard it.  She tryna get a meeting set up with Kandi.  Bravo…did yall fully screen this fool or yall just checked the more drama with Sheree box and kept moving?  I know yall got money to blow  but damn. She then says her man is Nazi White.  What kinda eff ish is that?  So…They dip out and leave Kandi with psycho.  Kandi takes the note and dips too because yall not gon leave her with a crazy.  She will indeed pop awf and the pregnancy can’t handle all of that.

  Kim is over the foolery and got a book to read.  lol She’s so mommy.  She brought snacks and Kenya threw them overboard.  So now they are going to turn up because Kenya throws a whack party.   Kim says she doesnt drink so Porsha asks for alcoholic water.  Yall really don’t need to be drinking because yall don’t act right sober. They said that this is much better than the hot party.  Kenya brings up some shady stuff.  And then is mad when Shamea tries to defend herself. Kenya wants to kick Shamea off the boat because drama so they tell Cynthia to go calm her down because that’s her “bestie”.  They’ve been calling each other “bitch” all night but as soon as Porsha says it again to Cynthia (with no malice intended you can tell), Cynthia loses her mind. giphy (1).gif Cynthia is tripping.  She’s calling Porsha dumb ass.  She’s really antsy with her situation with Peter and she’s taking it out on Porsha. all Porsha says is “who, bitch” in that jokey friend type of way.  I can text several chicks i know and say “whattup heaux” or Bish what you doing and they just gon answer.  You could tell by how Porsha said it she wasn’t acting shady.  Cynthia needs to keep her crappy feelings about her life bottled up.  She’s petty . we see how she did peter.  Im pretty sure that im now 100% team nene on the end of their friendship. (i was 85% before)   What did yall think of the foolery this week?        

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